


Alive

by BlueNeutrino



Series: A Hunter's Heart in an Angel's Hands [30]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Established Relationship, Heartbeats, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueNeutrino/pseuds/BlueNeutrino
Summary: Coda to 12x01 as part of my cardiophilia verse. Cas needs to reassure himself Dean is alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I updated this series, but rest assured more installments will be coming. This just felt like a particularly good opportunity to add one.

It still hasn’t sunk in. Cas doesn’t think it’s going to. Between Sam being taken and Mary Winchester coming back from the dead and everything else that’s happened, there hasn’t been chance for it to truly dawn on Cas that Dean is _alive._

If it weren’t for the pressing need to find Sam and so many questions that need to be answered, Cas thinks their earlier embrace could have lasted forever. Or at least long enough for him to feel Dean’s heartbeat hammering away, and convince himself that Dean – _his_ Dean – is really real and back here with him.

They haven’t spoken about what happened with the Darkness. Even now, it still doesn’t feel like the right time. Mary is in the back of the car, lost in her own thoughts, which Cas can imagine must themselves be a struggle for her to process. Dean’s eyes are fixed on the road, the intermittent streetlights casting shadows across his face that turn his expression even more solemn, eyes burning with the intense resolve to find his brother. His left hand is on the wheel while his right rests on the bench between them. Only hours ago had they been here before, the almost exact same scenario before Dean decided to go to his death to save the world. Back then Cas had hesitated, wondering if he should reach for his hand. This time he doesn’t.

The angel’s fingers reach out carefully to graze over Dean’s knuckles, lightly caressing his skin. It doesn’t startle Dean, but Cas sees his eyes flicker down briefly, and then return to staring straight ahead. There’s no sign on his face of what’s happening, but his fingers flex receptively, allowing Cas to slip his own between them. Dean’s fist closes, and Cas’ thumb rubs gently over the back of his hand, reassured by the solidity of Dean’s grip.

They linger that way for a few seconds before Cas slides his hand lower again, disentangling their fingers until his thumb comes to rest over Dean’s wrist. He presses firmly against the indent beside Dean’s tendon until he finds it: the artery thrumming away, strong and steady, just below the surface.

Later he’ll listen. Once Sam is safe and they’re home again, they’ll wrap their arms around each other and Cas will press his head to Dean’s chest and listen to that beating in the rhythm that’s _only Dean’s_ until he’s convinced himself that Dean is truly alive and safe, right here with him. But for now, feeling the warmth of Dean’s skin and the steady thrum of his pulse beneath Cas’ thumb, this is enough.


End file.
